Is it Okay with God for Us to Not Have Children?
A concerning phrase I’ve increasingly heard is “happily child free.” Yes, couples can choose how many children to have or even to have children. On the surface, this appears as a responsible decision.
Modern-day birth control makes happily child free an accessible reality. But is it a good one?
Birth rates are rapidly declining in most countries, often at a shocking rate. The reality is that many nations are not producing enough children to sustain their economy.
Given the present birth rate decline, the economic collapse in some countries could happen as soon as in fifty years.
The solution, of course, is to have more babies. But too many couples elect to not do their part.
Be Fruitful and Multiply
The creation account ends with God making people on the sixth day. Among other things, he tells them to be fruitful, increase in number, and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28). They do just that.
But sin enters God’s creation, and he sends a flood to wipe out the rampant evil that has invaded it. Only Noah and his family survive. The human race starts over again through Noah and his offspring.
Just as with God’s command to Adam and Eve to be fruitful, the Almighty repeats the instruction to Noah. God even tells Noah twice for emphasis, to make sure he knows it and does it (Genesis 9:1 and Genesis 9:7).
Note that these commands for people to be fruitful precede the law of Moses. Even so, the Old Testament Law supports marriage and having children.
Remaining Single Is an Option
Jesus—who, by the way, was single—allowed for people to remain single (Matthew 19:9-11).
Paul—another bachelor—also talked about the advantages of being single (1 Corinthians 7:32-39).
Being single is implicitly a call to remain child free, for God teaches us that sex outside of marriage is a sin. But neither of these passages on singleness allows for people to get married and remain child free.
Is Child Free a Selfish Decision?
I’ve known a couple of wives who desired to remain child free for fear of passing on familial genetic defects to their children. These women suffered because of their condition and didn’t want to bring children into the world who would (or might) likewise suffer.
Theirs was a difficult decision to struggle with. Yet both elected to pursue adoption and not remain childless.
I’ve also heard of people who had traumatic childhoods and feared they would likewise fail as parents. This is also understandable, yet I’ve never met a parent who felt prepared for the job of having and raising children.
Instead, we can push forward with prayer, trusting in God that he’ll help us be good parents.
Third is the understandable concern that parents could bring children into the world to face a dark, even fatal, future. Yet we can’t control what tomorrow might bring.
Instead, we turn our fears over to God and rely on his protection. To remain child free in the face of this fear means being controlled by it. This is not a God-honoring decision.
Yet most couples who elect to pursue the “happily child free route” don’t fit in these categories. Instead, they view children as a burden to avoid, an inconvenience at best. They want to focus on careers, making money, and living an inwardly focused life.
In doing so, however, they miss out on the joy of raising children and having a family. They claim to be “happily child free.” But are they? Or are they just being selfish?
God’s Plan
They miss God’s plan for his creation to have children, to be fruitful and multiply. When we do this, we’ll be blessed (Psalm 127:5).
Having children—and not pursuing “happily child free”—may be the better path to true happiness, just as God ordained.
Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.
Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.
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